I sometimes realize when I want to tell someone to "mind your own business" I should mind my own business and subsequently I keep my mouth shut.

I've learned to stop trying to be funny. Funny sentiments just come to me. My perverse interpretation of life's material seems to do the trick.

I have a mom who's very intelligent; she's just very dumb. (Anybody who's somewhat logical can understand this statement contradicts itself. My mom is ridiculously smart. You should watch her play "Jeopardy!".)

Fluffin just released a new solo album entitled "Avian Fixation".

Sometimes I have the urge to say "yolkapolily" followed by "papiqua".

What information does Fluffin hope to gain by sniffing everything in her environment?

Fluffin Inspires Me

Fluffin scratched everything in sight (she was addicted to scratching).  So, we took her to get declawed.  For a while, since her paws were tender, she couldn't run.  Now that the tenderness from her declawing procedure has worn off, she runs around almost like the old Fluffin.  She's gained some comfort with the feeling of her paws striking the ground.  Similar to this feeling of comfort, I need to become comfortable with my body moving through space in an upright, balanced position. Pretty soon, I'll be running around almost like the old Matt.

Sometimes, I wish I could erase the movie "Anchorman" from my memory, and then watch again. I'd have such a better appreciation for the humor in it now than when I first saw it.

My 90s' pop culture knowledge dominates my 2015 pop culture knowledge. My knowledge of any "Backstreet Boys" song non-chorus lyrics destroys my knowledge of any "Maroon 5" song non-chorus lyrics.

simple recipe for music radio station success - Combine Nick Jonas with a splash of Ariana Grande, Maroon 5, or Meghan Trainor. Do not exceed 3 songs per artist; this should come out to 12 songs in total. Music variety correlates inversely with music radio station success. You want to pander to the zombie mentality of the average radio listener.

Why Do I Feel Insecure?

The question I pose in the title of this entry surely has a complex answer.  When I break it down (My hard work has tangible results.  I'm funny.  I'm smart.  I'm not starving.  I'm relatively handsome.), I should feel very secure.  Still, I have this nagging feeling of insecurity.  The insecurity originates from a perception of people I haD several years ago.  I used to perceive someone who uses a wheelchair as weak, crippled, and deserving of pity.  I'm actually strong and deserving of praise.  I can't portray my inner-strength to everyone is the only problem.  I'd like to think, "Why do I care about people who can't see passed my wheelchair?"  If I think this way, I'd be negating the person I used to be.  The question then becomes, "Why can't I negate the old Matt?"  He was immature, shallow, superficial, and an incomplete person.  Now, I'm the new Matt (mature, deep, insightful, and a complete person), and I'm ready to beat some ass.

I should apologize to my mom. I stabbed her in the heart, but I did it by accident. I didn't kill her. I only critically wounded her.

Why did I not realize until now how much I love fresh-squeezed orange juice?

I tend to wonder what the members of 'N Sync other than Justin Timberlake are up to these days.

Steve's name is Matt.

I'm an idiot savant. No wait...take out the savant part. JK - I don't really think I'm an idiot - far from it. I just think that's a funny thing to say.

Weekly Reincarnate

The layout of our weeks has a circular structure.  This concept is obvious, but people don't think of our weeks as circular. People always classify Sunday as a "weekend" day.  Doesn't Sunday technically begin the week?  Thinking in this way, we can consider Sunday to be a week-beginning day.  On Thursday, I can't wait for the week-beginning.

insert witty statement here about my extreme dislike of pop music

Do things in life annoy anyone as much as they annoy me?

I should stop trying to change people. One can change trends on a wide scale, but one can't change individuals.