Questioning Hot Water

I find the commonly used term "hot-water heater" to be completely unnecessary.  If the water's already hot, why does it need to be heated?  Shouldn't the term be "cold-water heater" or "warm-water heater"?

My mom's obsession with throwing away dirty napkins doesn't mix with my obsession with napkins.

Does cleanliness justify enduring the cornucopia of pain I inevitably experience when shower soap comes in contact with my right eyeball?

Everybody needs to know I had a ham omelette for breakfast. ham and eggs: what a classic combo

Since I've begun to monitor my cholesterol intake (I have really high cholesterol), I've realized how much I love cholesterol.

A vastness exists in the way I feel inside whenever I hear a Gwen Stefani song versus the way I feel inside whenever I witness Gwen Stefani doing anything other than singing.

I wrote a memorandum for the Big East once Rutgers joined the Pac East conference.

In an attempt to complexify matters, I often complicate matters.

I must temper the rage that pop. music provokes within my soul, or else I'd be a wild beast

I appreciate a person who has a strong grasp of physical laws.

I must temper my animal instincts for society to accept me.

Why Must I Be Surrounded By Such Insolence?

I bought a pair of mittens off of Amazon for Christmas.  Amazon originally said I'd receive the mittens before Christmas.  Once they shipped my order, the estimated delivery date changed to January 9th (after Christmas).  Once the order ships, you can't cancel the order.  So, basically, I got screwed.  Look at my interaction with the shipping company (I put corrections in parentheses.  I didn't correct everything to keep the incomprehensible nature of the original e-mails intact):

I fail to understand, if my package is already shipped, how it won't arrive until at least January 9th.  Amazon originally said it'd arrive before Christmas (I bought this as a Christmas gift).  If that's no longer the case, I'd like to cancel my order.

Thank you for your kindly email . (This person clearly has no idea how to communicate in the English language properly.)
Our only shipping way is via China post which usually take(s) around 20 days for delivery hope it will reach to you on time.

I need a guarantee that I will get them before Christmas.  If not, I'll just drive to the store and buy other mittens.

Hope  it  can  arrive  on time

I can't rely on a "hope".  I need a definitive answer.  Either I will get them before Christmas, or I won't.  Actually, just cancel the order.  I already bought new mittens.  This is the last time I'll ever procure anything from Asia.  I'm just baffled how, in 2014, it takes a month to ship anything any distance.  I can ship myself to #### China in less than 1 day. 

we  cannot

This really screwed me.  Until the order was shipped, Amazon said it will arrive before Christmas.  Then, you shipped the order and, unreasonably, the estimated delivery date was changed to at least Jan. 9th.  After the order is shipped, I can't cancel the order, so I'm basically screwed out of $5.  $5 isn't a lot of money, but I don't want give $5 to incompetence that will eventually end humanity.  Society can't continue with this kind of shit happening in logistics.


I thought I'd publicize a case of extreme incompetence running our (hopefully) rational lives. Basically, don't ever procure anything from Asia.

Don't miss Usain Bolt in his feature role on the television show "Fast Man Standing".

I'm Spoiled

The main concept I've realized as I've matured is to have generally low expectations for people.  I unrealistically expect a person to do something when he says he or she says will do it.  Thanks, dad.

Although non-dairy ice cream doesn't taste quite as good as regular ice cream (you barely notice the difference between the 2), the satisfaction you feel about ingesting a healthier option outweighs any satisfaction you'd receive from a taste sensation.

How Can I Be Antisocial?

My house lost internet connection for a while.  This instantly pissed me off, and then I thought, "I'm tired. I'll just take a nap."  Then I realized socializing with my housemates didn't even dawn on me as an option.  Is the internet making me more antisocial, or is my obsession with the internet just a manifestation of my antisocial nature?

The understanding of color value that many people display disappoints me.

Sometimes I really want someone to tell me my name.