I sometimes realize when I want to tell someone to "mind your own business" I should mind my own business and subsequently I keep my mouth shut.

I've learned to stop trying to be funny. Funny sentiments just come to me. My perverse interpretation of life's material seems to do the trick.

I have a mom who's very intelligent; she's just very dumb. (Anybody who's somewhat logical can understand this statement contradicts itself. My mom is ridiculously smart. You should watch her play "Jeopardy!".)

Fluffin just released a new solo album entitled "Avian Fixation".

Sometimes I have the urge to say "yolkapolily" followed by "papiqua".

What information does Fluffin hope to gain by sniffing everything in her environment?

Fluffin Inspires Me

Fluffin scratched everything in sight (she was addicted to scratching).  So, we took her to get declawed.  For a while, since her paws were tender, she couldn't run.  Now that the tenderness from her declawing procedure has worn off, she runs around almost like the old Fluffin.  She's gained some comfort with the feeling of her paws striking the ground.  Similar to this feeling of comfort, I need to become comfortable with my body moving through space in an upright, balanced position. Pretty soon, I'll be running around almost like the old Matt.

Sometimes, I wish I could erase the movie "Anchorman" from my memory, and then watch again. I'd have such a better appreciation for the humor in it now than when I first saw it.

My 90s' pop culture knowledge dominates my 2015 pop culture knowledge. My knowledge of any "Backstreet Boys" song non-chorus lyrics destroys my knowledge of any "Maroon 5" song non-chorus lyrics.

simple recipe for music radio station success - Combine Nick Jonas with a splash of Ariana Grande, Maroon 5, or Meghan Trainor. Do not exceed 3 songs per artist; this should come out to 12 songs in total. Music variety correlates inversely with music radio station success. You want to pander to the zombie mentality of the average radio listener.

Why Do I Feel Insecure?

The question I pose in the title of this entry surely has a complex answer.  When I break it down (My hard work has tangible results.  I'm funny.  I'm smart.  I'm not starving.  I'm relatively handsome.), I should feel very secure.  Still, I have this nagging feeling of insecurity.  The insecurity originates from a perception of people I haD several years ago.  I used to perceive someone who uses a wheelchair as weak, crippled, and deserving of pity.  I'm actually strong and deserving of praise.  I can't portray my inner-strength to everyone is the only problem.  I'd like to think, "Why do I care about people who can't see passed my wheelchair?"  If I think this way, I'd be negating the person I used to be.  The question then becomes, "Why can't I negate the old Matt?"  He was immature, shallow, superficial, and an incomplete person.  Now, I'm the new Matt (mature, deep, insightful, and a complete person), and I'm ready to beat some ass.

I should apologize to my mom. I stabbed her in the heart, but I did it by accident. I didn't kill her. I only critically wounded her.

Why did I not realize until now how much I love fresh-squeezed orange juice?

I tend to wonder what the members of 'N Sync other than Justin Timberlake are up to these days.

Steve's name is Matt.

I'm an idiot savant. No wait...take out the savant part. JK - I don't really think I'm an idiot - far from it. I just think that's a funny thing to say.

Weekly Reincarnate

The layout of our weeks has a circular structure.  This concept is obvious, but people don't think of our weeks as circular. People always classify Sunday as a "weekend" day.  Doesn't Sunday technically begin the week?  Thinking in this way, we can consider Sunday to be a week-beginning day.  On Thursday, I can't wait for the week-beginning.

insert witty statement here about my extreme dislike of pop music

Do things in life annoy anyone as much as they annoy me?

I should stop trying to change people. One can change trends on a wide scale, but one can't change individuals.

I Have Mind Dissonance (My Thoughts Don't Exist Harmoniously)

I often tell a person I have a blog, and that person sometimes responds, "What's the theme?"  To this question, I respond, "My blog really doesn't have a congealed theme.  The theme of my blog is a cacophony of thoughts inside an abnormal mind."

The main thing I've learned during my 31 years of existence: you can ignore a person's bad attitude, but you can't ignore a person's bad smell.

Sponge Brain or Sieve Brain?

My ability to retain information is unpredictable.  I have excellent face-name recall.  I'm awesome at remembering names.  I take great pride in this phenomenon, and therefore I often make a great effort to remember a person's name after the initial introduction to that person (For example, I make up an alliteration for a person's name.  I recently met a woman named "Shantel" or "Chantel".  She's African-American, so I alliterated her name with the word "sugar" from the song "Brown Sugar".  (That song is about an African-American woman.) That helped me for our first few meetings after the initial introduction, and then her face along with her name became branded into my brain).  I have great trouble remembering ideas I come up with for entries for this blog.  When an idea dawns on me, I do all I can to remember that idea (I make up an acronym that I'll easily remember.)  Sometimes, I forget ideas I think I'll easily remember.  The reliability of my memory is inconsistent.

My mother made a delicious 3.14 for dessert.

Logical Incongruities

I enjoy dispersing logical incongruities throughout these pages.  I understand the statement, "I'm the nicest person in my therapy, but I'm not one of the nicest people in my therapy" makes no sense.  I think a statement, coming from an intelligent individual, that contradicts itself is funny.  I rarely say something illogical (in a serious way), and when I do, I usually quickly correct myself.  Anybody who knows me well, knows I like to live logically, and knows an illogical statement like "I'm the nicest person in my therapy, but I'm not one of the nicest people in my therapy" is not a result of my brain injury.  I just think logical contradictions are funny.  Don't try to find any hidden meaning behind my statements that make no sense.

I can't understand how anybody who's ever seen Fluffin can continue to dislike cats.

I'm the nicest person in my therapy, but I'm not one of the nicest people in my therapy.

Why does Nick Jonas sing every love song I hear on the radio?

Something happens to me, when I send stickers via a facebook conversation; I just want to keep sending stickers.

Positivity = Happiness

People naturally like to live in a positive environment.  I try to add positivity to the environment by smiling, telling jokes, and laughing.  The positivity emitting from me is infectious.  The positivity I emit spreads like a virus, eventually eradicating any negative viruses in the environment.  positivity > negativity.  By generally emitting positive energy, I generally like the environment I live in, and thus I'm a happy person.

Who plays the doctor in the film "Mulholland Doctor"?

I just read a newspaper article about conjoined twins who aren't related to each other.

A lot of people tell me I'm ignorant. My only response to that statement is, "What does "Ignorant" mean?"

Sometimes, a person tells me I don't comprehend what he or she tells me. I just wonder, "What the hell does "comprehend" mean?"

It is better to be respected than liked.

I've learned not to scream about a lack of post shave balm.

I can be a jerk sometimes. This can rather tough, because I have live with myself.

I work every day, but soon I'll tack on more days to this heavy workload.

I don't mind using my wheelchair as much as I used to, but I still mind being referred to as "Disabled".

I've come to realize I have problems with the use of the word "disabled".  Saying you're "able" to do something means you have the ability to do that thing.  So it logically follows using the word "disabled" to describe yourself means you don't have the ability to do at least most things.  Although I've come to accept my current situation of using a wheelchair, I still have problems with the word "disabled".  I worked so hard to eradicate my consistent wheelchair use, because I didn't want people to use the word "disabled" to describe me.  I still work hard not exactly to eradicate my wheelchair from my life, but to become a more overall healthy being.  I still don't want people to call me disabled.  As somebody comes to know me, that person comes to know I'm very far from "disabled". I do have balance issues, but I'm not disabled.

Scientific Inaccuracy

I formulated a mathematical/societal theory today.  With any weather forecast, one should apply a 48 percent chance to that weather event happening in reality.  So if the weather forecast predicts a 90% chance of snow my equation predicts a 43.2% chance of snow.  My equation attempts to apply some scientific shitiness to the weather forecast.

Just because I don't like something doesn't mean it's not my favorite thing.

Valentine's Day - a day for single men to feel lonely, and a day for taken men to stress out about buying a box of chocolates for his significant other and to stress out about reservations.

I should lower my expectations for pork chops. When I eat a piece of pork chop, and realize that pork chop's dry as shit, I should understand not everyone can cook pork as well as my mom. (The same thing goes for chicken. My mom knows how to keep that shit moist, but not undercooked. perfection)

Don't miss Vin Diesel and John Goodman in the new hit film "Triple XL".

Philadelphia recently elected Sammy Davis Jr into the mayor's office. (Enter "hardtalk interview michael nutter" into Youtube, and watch the first video.)

My primary physician prescribed me medicine to eradicate the shrubbery growing in my mouth.

I can honestly say "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift is the singular pop song I like.

"Rice Krispies"

Take the Bull By the Horns

I've found during my nearly 31 years of existence, the best way to handle something is to go right to the source of the thing.  Don't rely on indirect routes to handle something.  With an indirect route you often deal with other people.  Sometimes, other people will forget things, and other people generally aren't that reliable.  With something you want taken care of, you're the most reliable person (or at least you should be the most reliable person).  The person with which the issue is concerned is usually the sole owner of the issue.  If something doesn't directly affect another person, the other person has little motivation to handle the issue.  Whenever I have an issue, I try to go to the source of the issue.  If I ask another person to handle an issue, another person might forget the issue, or another person might not give a shit about the issue.

Idiot Savant?

I sometimes remember the weirdest things in the short-term (like a person's name after the initial introduction), but sometimes I'll forget what I ate for breakfast.  Sometimes the way my brain works amazes me.  The word "unreliable" perfectly describes my short-term memory.

Wild One

The guy who sits next to me at therapy mistakenly thought the lyrics to Cat Stevens' song Wild World were "Baby, baby, you're the wild one".  My friend and I felt bad about this extreme example of ignorance, so we corrected this lyric faux paux.

I wonder if the domain name dotcom.com exists.

Don't Watch "The Chew" On More Than 1 TV Set.

I have a tendency to think everything I do is of great importance.  I follow the ethic that one should do everything by the code that if everyone does things like the person in question things would work out (I try to live by Kant's categorical imperative (I try to set a good example)).  When I go by the TV and one of my housemates has The Chew on, I think I don't want this house to support the ratings of that despicable show.  Then I'll think about that mindset, and realize we're only talking about 1 damn television set.  What kind of a difference can 1 TV set make?

the time between the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl - time for "experts" to talk about incompletely inflated balls

I just set an alarm to remind myself to set an alarm.

My parents characterize me as anal as if genetics don’t cause my anal behavior.

I find the statement, "You can rely on me," to be unreliable.

When a person meets someone, that person might think (about the other person), "Does this person have a nice personality?" When I meet someone, I think, "Does this person make a nice cup of coffee?"

Walk the Walk

Words are used to represent actions.  One can't rely on words. One can only rely on actions.

Most People Aren't That Awesome

When I stress that a person should often stop using the word "need", and when I stress that a person should often stop saying "I can't", I fail to realize most people aren't like me.  Most people aren't programmed to come up against a challenge, and try to take that challenge down.  I've always loved facing challenges.  I just like to stress my brain. Often, a person prefers not to stress his or her brain. This is not a criticism of humanity, but rather an analysis of genetics.  People, as logic/physics dictates, often should choose the path of least resistance.  My genetics cause me to realize I often should often choose the path of most resistance, in order to avoid feeling like a piece of shit later. When I break it down, I realize most people just aren't as awesome as me.  I mean, I'm pretty awesome.

Kale

I saw an infomercial on the Nutribullet (a juicer) tonight.  My father has a juicer.  When I lived at home, he made me smoothies using his juicer.  One time he served me a smoothie with Kale as an ingredient.  WHAT A MISTAKE.  I took one sip of that shit, and the gag reflex was so strong that I immediately spit that shit up.  The fact that we make things with Kale as an ingredient significantly lowers my confidence in the human race.  Visit this link to see a funny Jim Gaffigan bit on kale: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcI7jgkwdCM

Most things I observe upset me. The reason why I ignore most things is because I don't want to live in a constantly upset state.

Anybody who claims he or she doesn't like cats has obviously never met Fluffin.

Y'all're going to need to get more than 1 hamper up in this shit to contain me.

"You're the less-attractive Kevin Bacon."

People have compared me to a male movie-star or a male model from time to time.  The person who makes the comparison probably intends the comparison to be a compliment.  I don't really take this as a compliment.  A male model or a male movie-star has reached the current level of success he currently enjoys, in part, because he looks exceptionally good. I'm not a male model, in part, because I'm not handsome enough to be a male model. Comparing me to a male model is essentially saying I'm the not-as-attractive version of that model.

I have a sick sense of humor.

Outstanding Trapezius

Kate Upton's back muscles must perform at a high level to balance her bosom-heavy body. Her body shape causes me some concern.  She'll have to deal with serious back problems at an advanced age, unless she has an exceptionally strong trapezius.

The View

Who gives a shit about Whoopi Goldberg's opinion?  It's very presumptuous to entitle a show featuring Whoopi Goldberg's view The View.

A Funny Pronunciation Move

You know how you pronounce Arkansas Akansaw?  I think it'd be funny if you pronounce Kansas "Kansaw".