Idiot Savant?

I sometimes remember the weirdest things in the short-term (like a person's name after the initial introduction), but sometimes I'll forget what I ate for breakfast.  Sometimes the way my brain works amazes me.  The word "unreliable" perfectly describes my short-term memory.

Wild One

The guy who sits next to me at therapy mistakenly thought the lyrics to Cat Stevens' song Wild World were "Baby, baby, you're the wild one".  My friend and I felt bad about this extreme example of ignorance, so we corrected this lyric faux paux.

I wonder if the domain name dotcom.com exists.

Don't Watch "The Chew" On More Than 1 TV Set.

I have a tendency to think everything I do is of great importance.  I follow the ethic that one should do everything by the code that if everyone does things like the person in question things would work out (I try to live by Kant's categorical imperative (I try to set a good example)).  When I go by the TV and one of my housemates has The Chew on, I think I don't want this house to support the ratings of that despicable show.  Then I'll think about that mindset, and realize we're only talking about 1 damn television set.  What kind of a difference can 1 TV set make?

the time between the AFC Championship and the Super Bowl - time for "experts" to talk about incompletely inflated balls

I just set an alarm to remind myself to set an alarm.

My parents characterize me as anal as if genetics don’t cause my anal behavior.

I find the statement, "You can rely on me," to be unreliable.

When a person meets someone, that person might think (about the other person), "Does this person have a nice personality?" When I meet someone, I think, "Does this person make a nice cup of coffee?"

Walk the Walk

Words are used to represent actions.  One can't rely on words. One can only rely on actions.

Most People Aren't That Awesome

When I stress that a person should often stop using the word "need", and when I stress that a person should often stop saying "I can't", I fail to realize most people aren't like me.  Most people aren't programmed to come up against a challenge, and try to take that challenge down.  I've always loved facing challenges.  I just like to stress my brain. Often, a person prefers not to stress his or her brain. This is not a criticism of humanity, but rather an analysis of genetics.  People, as logic/physics dictates, often should choose the path of least resistance.  My genetics cause me to realize I often should often choose the path of most resistance, in order to avoid feeling like a piece of shit later. When I break it down, I realize most people just aren't as awesome as me.  I mean, I'm pretty awesome.

Kale

I saw an infomercial on the Nutribullet (a juicer) tonight.  My father has a juicer.  When I lived at home, he made me smoothies using his juicer.  One time he served me a smoothie with Kale as an ingredient.  WHAT A MISTAKE.  I took one sip of that shit, and the gag reflex was so strong that I immediately spit that shit up.  The fact that we make things with Kale as an ingredient significantly lowers my confidence in the human race.  Visit this link to see a funny Jim Gaffigan bit on kale: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcI7jgkwdCM

Most things I observe upset me. The reason why I ignore most things is because I don't want to live in a constantly upset state.

Anybody who claims he or she doesn't like cats has obviously never met Fluffin.

Y'all're going to need to get more than 1 hamper up in this shit to contain me.

"You're the less-attractive Kevin Bacon."

People have compared me to a male movie-star or a male model from time to time.  The person who makes the comparison probably intends the comparison to be a compliment.  I don't really take this as a compliment.  A male model or a male movie-star has reached the current level of success he currently enjoys, in part, because he looks exceptionally good. I'm not a male model, in part, because I'm not handsome enough to be a male model. Comparing me to a male model is essentially saying I'm the not-as-attractive version of that model.

I have a sick sense of humor.

Outstanding Trapezius

Kate Upton's back muscles must perform at a high level to balance her bosom-heavy body. Her body shape causes me some concern.  She'll have to deal with serious back problems at an advanced age, unless she has an exceptionally strong trapezius.

The View

Who gives a shit about Whoopi Goldberg's opinion?  It's very presumptuous to entitle a show featuring Whoopi Goldberg's view The View.

A Funny Pronunciation Move

You know how you pronounce Arkansas Akansaw?  I think it'd be funny if you pronounce Kansas "Kansaw".