Logisticare needs to figure out picking up more people on a trip extends the duration of the trip.

Put a positive spin on most things.

Cinco de Mayo - an excuse to eat chili.

Based on my mathematical understanding, Anne Hathaway's acting ability inversely correlates with her nude scenes (not to say she ever had good acting skills).

Treating a person with respect makes that person more prone to do nice things for you.

My father has made an art form out of killing a joke.

I think it has taken me longer to read the "Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition" than it has ever taken me to read any magazine. I read the "Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition" every morning when I poop since the magazine came out. I still have yet to finish the magazine.

Attractive single females: I move into my own place soon. I bought a sweet heart-shaped waterbed to go in my new bedroom. Contact me about sleeping with an attractive man in the waterbed.

My name is Mike, but my parents call me Matt.