One Man, One Napkin

I want to put on a performance piece about my experiences with a napkin.

The Circle of Life Omelette

I order a "buffalo chicken omelette" from a restaraunt near my beach house.  When I break it down, I realize this is a pretty twisted concept for a food item.  The restaraunt basically wraps the muscles of dead animals with undeveloped fetuses of unborn animals.

"Koobly Double-take"

I've always had an interest in observing animal behavior.  These days, I primarily observe the nonsensical behavior of Fluffin.  What makes her so alert about the chirp of a distant bird?  When she hears a bird chirp she runs over to a window to try to look at the bird, as if she can jump out of the shut window to chase the bird.  She's notorious for doing this "double-take" when she actually sees a bird in the backyard.  She seems so alert when she does this.  I find animal behavior so interesting because animal behavior rarely ever has any rationale.  Maybe just Fluffin's behavior rarely ever has any rationale.

My friend has a dad who's retired who brings home the literal bacon.

I sometimes wonder how the subject of Rick Astley's infamous Never Gonna Give You Up song feels about that song.

My desire to put powder in my socks inversely correlates with my desire to present powder on my clothes to the public. I have a very hard time navigating these desires.

No one can compete with my olfactory sense.

With everything a person says to me, I look for an oppurtunity to make fun of that person.

I hate the excessive laziness that pervades society.